so let's talk penis.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
