dude i'm inner monologue high
that's an acceptable place to lick
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
