I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
