I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
