I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
