ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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