Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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