Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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