just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
