We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
