omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
