question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
