I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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