Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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