Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
