Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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