Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
