He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
