Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
