Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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