You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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