hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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