he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The beer is more important than you right now.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
