Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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