sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
