Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
