ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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