We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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