I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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