I look better un-naked...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
