I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
