Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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