Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
