I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
