her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
