This is not my ceiling
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i think i just lost a toe
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
