Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
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