Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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