i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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