apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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