If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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