He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
