p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
