its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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