I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
