They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
