Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
