I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
