Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
