you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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