my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
