I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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