i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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