Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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